Thursday, 31 January 2013

When my friend and I successfully meet to go to the gym, we're like:

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

When my boyfriend gets his first internship offer, I'm like:

When he tells me it is in Delaware, I'm like:

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

When my boyfriend and his classmates reminisce about their three-week trip over the holidays and then complain about how hard it is to go back to "real life," I'm like:

Monday, 28 January 2013

The Business January 30th 2013, The "Electric Kool-Aid Acid Graduate Management Admission Test" Edition

 
This week, you’re either on the bus or off the bus as we take off on a tripped out psychedelic adventure, man!

Come experience a perception of the comic unity of a higher level. And a feeling of timelessness, the feeling that what we know as time is only the result of a naive faith in causality - the notion that A in the past caused B in the present, which will cause C in the future, when actually A, B, and C are all part of a pattern that can be truly understood only by opening the doors of perception and experiencing it... in this moment... this supreme moment... this Kairos. I mean comedy. Yeah, comedy.

This week, The Business welcome’s two guests, freshly returned from tours through the gates of inner-consciousness.

Josh Androsky is one of the clowns behind Hamclown: Los Angeles comedy hotspot and a Skateboard Rabbi on Shrooms that OWNED the Price is Right.

Keith D’Souza is a rare and beautiful bird. We will cage him for you and let you laugh at him.

Your regulars will be there as well Alex “Furthur” Koll, Sean “Kesey” Keane, Bucky “Hysterical Realism” Sinister, Nato “Prankster” Green and Caitlin “whoa man… when we were in the womb was all breathed through a” Gill.

We are also happy to have founding member Chris "Passed the Acid Test" Garcia back for the week! Come see him before he heads back to The Business LA!

BYOBurrito into the unknown.

This whole freaky trip is just $5! AND you can bring a friend for free with one of our 2-for-1 coupons.

We sell out! Get there early for a seat.

YOU ARE HEREBY EMPOWERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I hear a partner say she doesn't care how much her husband makes after business school as long as he's doing something he enjoys, I'm like:

Friday, 25 January 2013

Thursday, 24 January 2013

When my fiancé asks how I would feel about taking the summer off of work and living with him in California, I'm like:

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

When my husband tells me he isn't cutting his hair until he starts his "real job", I'm like:

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

The Business January 23rd 2013, The "Mrs. Doubtfire 2: Revenge of the Fallen" Edition

San Francisco loves a home-grown star, and even though our guest this week now lives in London, he will always be the dude from SF that was in that movie where Robin Williams wore a dress.
 
Scott Capurro was reared in Daly City, California; at age 3, he swam the English Channel. Since 1993, he's avoided AIDS by telling unsavory jokes in every English speaking country. Described by San Francisco Weekly (free press, edited by lesbians and designed by trannys with large hands and hidden agendas) as "stand-up in the very best possible sense - deadpan, ever-alert and hilarious". Scott has appeared in Mrs. Doubtfire, where, effortlessly, he played a homosexual; and Star Wars: Phantom Menace, where, breathlessly, he wore a body stocking.

We are also happy to welcome one of Fresno’s finest, Raphi Barakat!

And your regulars! Caitlin “Mrs. Apprehensionflame” Gill, Sean “Mrs. Concernedblaze” Keane, Bucky “Mrs. Badfeelingaboutthatspark” Sinister and Alex “Mrs. Incredulouscoals” Koll.

WE SELL OUT so get there early if you want a seat.

This whole show is just $5!! Just $5!!! Plus you can bring a friend for free with one of our 2 for 1 coupons up top.

BYOBurrito and instagram it.
When my husband asks me to drive him to school when it's -7 degrees out, I'm like:
When my fiancé finds out that two of his second round interviews are at the same time, he's like:

Monday, 21 January 2013

Sunday, 20 January 2013

Time to Think Big in New York

By some measures, New York racing is enjoying great success. According to a press release this week from the New York Racing Association, betting handle in 2012 increased significantly, far outpacing the nationwide trend. In fact, but for the increase in betting at NYRA, nationwide handle would have declined in 2012 compared to the previous year. When NYRA's double digit increases were added in, nationwide handle actually rose 1%.

According to NYRA, all-sources handle, including simulcasting and export handle, was up 11.8 percent to $2.5 billion in 2012 compared to $2.2 billion in 2011. Total handle on NYRA races alone climbed 12.4 percent to $2.2 billion last year over $2.0 billion in 2011.

According to Equibase, handle on all races in the United States rose 1 percent to $10.9 billion in 2012 from $10.8 billion in 2011. 
That means NYRA's racing product accounted for more than 20% of all betting in the country, by far the largest share of any racing operator, and up from 18.5% the previous year.

The $232 million handle increase on NYRA’s races was more than double the $103 million industry-wide handle increase reported by Equibase. In other words, without NYRA's increase, total US handle would have declined by more than $100 million.

At the same time, the usual complaints about winter racing have resurfaced, as they do every January. Five fatal breakdowns on the Aqueduct inner track (through January 19th) are again raising the hackles of animal-rights crusaders, though the breakdown rate this year is well below last winter's alarming 4.2 deaths per 1,000 starts. But any breakdown immediately brings out the possibility of over-reaction. According to someone who should know, NYRA interim chief Ellen McClain told racing officials that, if there were one more fatality, she'd shut down racing. And the sudden burst of breakdowns last week is undoubtedly a reason that the January 25 meeting of the new, state-controlled NYRA Board will be talking about the possibility of installing a synthetic surface at Aqueduct in place of the inner dirt track that has been used for winter racing for many years. While a study of the synthetic option was recommended by last year's Task Force report on Aqueduct fatalities, that same report found no evidence that the inner track's dirt surface had in fact contributed to the rash of breakdowns. One thing is certain, though, installation of a synthetic surface would decrease betting handle on Aqueduct races; many bettors, unable to predict results on plastic/rubber race tracks, simply move their action elsewhere.

The other perennial winter complaint is short fields and bad horses. While, according to NYRA Racing Secretary P. J. Campo, there are some 1,700 horses in residence at Aqueduct and Belmont, hardly any horses are shipping in from elsewhere since New York adopted the toughest drug rules in the country, especially a two-week ban on use of the bronchial dilator Clenbuterol prior to a race. Those tough new drug rules are a good thing, but they'll hurt field size in New York until other states adopt the same rules.

Perhaps in response to the field-size issue, the upcoming NYRA Board meeting will also feature a discussion of reducing the number of race days and the number of races per day. Last year, NYRA ran a total of 245 racing days, and the year before that, 240. State law mandates certain minimums, including 36 days at Saratoga and 95 days during the winter Aqueduct season, so the NYRA Board alone can't make big changes on its own. But raising the issue is a good first step.

But perhaps, instead of applying a (synthetic) band-aid here, and a quick field-size fix (say, going to eight races a day) there, the new Board, charged with converting NYRA into an entity that';s prepared to move forward into at least the 21st century, should take a step back and think big. If the Board were to develop a 10-year plan for New York racing, what would it look like?

I was once involved in the drafting of a five-year plan, back when such things were popular in developing countries, and I once had a horse finish 2nd in something called the Big Dream Stakes at Atlantic City, so, based on those extensive qualifications, and the freedom to dream, here goes:

Where and When to Race? NYRA operates two of the best race tracks in the country, Saratoga and Belmont. It also operates one of the least fan-friendly and most depressing plants, Aqueduct. From the leaks in the press box to the foul smells in the bathrooms, Aqueduct  repels rather than attracts racing fans. Why not abandon Aqueduct to the slot-machine crowd, who don't cross over and bet on the races anyway, and focus on the two places where racing is fun?

Here's a hypothetical schedule, to be phased in over the 10-year period: 

March and November-December  on the Belmont training track, a one-mile oval that could easily manage 10-horse fields. Build a small grandstand where the clockers' stand now sits by the training track, to accommodate the predictably small live crowds in the colder months. Alternatively, winterize a portion of the existing Belmont plant (which has no central heating) and leave the training track as is.

April-June and mid-September through October on the existing Belmont dirt and turf courses. You could even run turf races in November and March on the existing turf courses, with fans in the training-track facility watching on big screens.

July 4th through Labor Day at Saratoga, with solid week or 10-day breaks between both ends of the Saratoga schedule and the adjacent Belmont meets.

Take a two-month break between New Year's day and the re-opening of Belmont in March. 

All that would probably require a reduction in the number of annual racing days, to somewhere around 200, so the New York State Legislature would have to come on board, but it's doable. And, while the elimination of winter racing would be a real hardship to those of us (myself included) who have predominantly claiming horses and who make a significant share of our annual purse money on the Aqueduct inner track, the goal of improving the quality of New York racing requires shared sacrifice. One way to spread the pain, and ease the burden on the non-marquee trainers, would be to impose some limits so that a few trainers couldn't have 100-plus horses each at NYRA facilities while less visible horsemen are just barely eking out a living. But, just as the reduction in foal crops sent some breeders out of the business, the necessary reduction in racing days and the number of races will put some owners and trainers out of business. That's called, I guess, capitalism.

What to do about the horse shortage? According to the Jockey Club, the production of thoroughbred foals in the US has dropped to levels not seen since at least the 1970s. Compared to foal crops of 40,000 in 1990, and 35,000 as recently as 2005 and 2006, the breeding industry has already gone through a massive correction, with foal production dropping to 23,500 in 2011. That's a one-third decline in just a five-year period, a remarkable example of market-driven reality. Recent stabilization of prices at the auction sales suggests that this is the new normal.

At the same time, according to the Jockey Club, the number of US racing days has also declined, but by a far smaller percentage, a drop of 20% from 2006 to 2011. That inevitably means more races chasing fewer horses. Either field size will decline, or the number of races will drop, to match the drop in the foal crop. It may take a while for the numbers to work their way through the system, but something has to give.

So if NYRA can get out ahead of the curve, reducing its number of racing days and perhaps limiting the number of races (say, eight in the colder months, nine at Belmont and, please, no more than 10 at Saratoga), then it can position itself to continue to offer the best racing in the country, and to maintain its position as the supplier of the most desirable simulcast signal.

The Quality of Racing: As always, the January and February condition books at Aqueduct represent the nadir of racing quality in the NYRA calendar. Lots of bottom-level claimers and maiden claimers, few allowances (and most of those require an optional claiming condition in order to fill), Few stakes races (though the four-stakes Saturday on February 2nd, featuring the graded Withers and Toboggan, is an exception), short fields, especially after the now-normal five vet scratches per day, and few new faces among the entrants. While some yearn for the good old days when, supposedly, there were nothing but allowances filled with horses owned by the aristocracy, the reality is that most horses, even in New York, belong in claiming races. But the overall perception of racing quality would certainly improve with the elimination of the worst months and the reduction in the number of races. Even if the same number of races were carded, the percentage of maiden special and allowance heats would rise, and that's a good thing. And it would be nice to see a return to the days when $25,000 was the bottom claiming level at Saratoga.

The quality of the physical plant: Aqueduct is beyond redemption. Despite the so-far-unfulfilled promises of casino operator Genting to refurbish the racing side, this winter is worse than ever. The white tablecloths at the Equestris restaurant are a nice touch, for the few hundred folks who eat there, but not everyone wants a $30 lunch while they make their $2 bets. (Of course, the $8 hot dogs at the snack bar are no bargain either.) It's simply not worth the money it would take to restore the place to even a semblance of a fan-friendly venue. Better to face up to the reality and start drawing up moving plans.

Instead, take the money that would have been thrown into Aqueduct and use it at Belmont, in creating a winter venue at the training track, improving simulcast facilities, sprucing up the family-friendly garden area, etc.

Racing after dark: And what about night racing? Yes, state law now says that thoroughbreds can't run once the trotters start their evening programs, but state law, as we've seen, can be changed. Every other sport basically restricts daytime events to weekends and holidays and runs the rest of the time at night. That's when the fan base is available, especially the younger demographic that race-track executives say they want to attract, but that few have been successful in actually attracting. How about rush-hour trains from Penn Station to Belmont for evening racing on weekdays, with quick shuttles back to Jamaica so folks could get home easily? Take some of that money that could have been thrown away and put it into lights at Belmont. Might do a lot more to attract new fans than, say, pony rides for the kids.

What next? Equally important, who would implement the plan? NYRA really, really needs to fill out its executive suite, installing a new CEO and getting a couple of people at senior management levels who know something about racing. Whatever criticisms one might have had about departed NYRA CEO Charlie Hayward, and there was plenty to criticize, Charlie was a race track guy and knew and loved the game. NYRA sorely needs a few of those folks, instead of, or at least in addition to, the bean counters that it's advertising for.

So, in the unlikely event that the NYRA Board takes my advice, here's what you should do: (1) hire some folks who know a bit about racing and who aren't afraid to think big; (2) let those folks develop a plan to improve the quality of NYRA's racing and facilities; and (3) give them the support and freedom they need to make the plan a reality. 



Friday, 18 January 2013

Cheering for my undergrad teams:

Cheering for my boyfriend's B-School's teams:

Thursday, 17 January 2013

When my fiance tries to suck up to me after coming home drunk at 2am on a work night, I'm like:
Thanks to the Partners at Wharton for this submission!

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

When my husband forgets to put his meetings on our shared Google calendar, I'm like:

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

When my husband asks me to spend the summer at his internship in Wisconsin, I'm like:

Monday, 14 January 2013

The Business January 16th 2013, The "Night Of January 16th- A Comedy Show by Ayn Rand" Edition

A night of passion and intrigue! Marvel at the legal spectacle as a jury decides if Bjorn Faulkner threw himself out of his penthouse or if he was pushed to his death by his secretary, Karen Andre!!!

Contemplate the heady moral nuances of contrasting ideas of individualism versus conformity! Wonder at which verdict the jury will return, IT CHANGES WITH EACH PERFORMANCE OF THE PLAY!! HOW NOVEL!!!! (It was also a novel.)

…or we can just have a fun comedy show instead.

The verdict is in on Brendan Lynch. He has been found funny by a jury of his peers (though we’re not sure they were really his peers, as they were all shorter than he is).

Brendan Lynch has established himself as a comedian to look out for in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is a regular performer at clubs all over the Northern California and has performed in the San Francisco SketchFest for the last two years. Don't be deceived by Brendan's low-key manner. Prepare yourself for an outrageous slice outside the cookie cutter of life. Brendan's astute observational comedy will surprise you with its bold sarcasm, absurd twists, and hilarious punchlines.

Your regulars, Alex Koll, Sean Keane, Bucky Sinister and Caitlin Gill will be there as well.

We SELL OUT. Get there early for a seat.

Reserved seating for Paul Ryan (it’s a workout bench).

BYOBurrito but don’t share it with anyone else. It is your individual right to possess your burrito.
When my husband comes back from a night full of networking events, he's like:

Friday, 11 January 2013

When my husband finally announces he's done with homework and ready for dinner, I'm like:

Thursday, 10 January 2013

My husband coming home from night class and crashing immediately:

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

The people my fiancé hates to work with on group projects:

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

The Business January 9th 2013, The "There’s GOLD in This Here Show!!" Edition

 The Business has elemental riches! Our lush lands are bursting with precious metals. You can’t dip a pan in our rivers without coming up with gold. ..

HEATHER GOLD!

Our guest this week is none other than sweet cookie Heather Gold.
Heather Gold is a writer, performer and audience involver whom boingboing calls "brilliant" and "one of our favourite comedians." She scales conversation and public intimacy. Her mission is to create a space and a world where we can be ourselves together. Heather emcees and performs for venues and clients across North America, and contributes to magazines and newspapers like The San Jose Mercury News, the Toronto Globe & Mail and CBC Radio. Heather hosts the weekly podcast Tummelvision.tv the leading show about social engagement in a networked world. She’s been quoted and covered in places like WIRED, Salon and NPR.

Of course, your regulars will be there as well. Though Mike Drucker will always be IN The Business, he is off to New York to make TV funny, so he can’t be in The Business every week anymore. We are very pleased to welcome our new Businessman, Nato Green! Nato has long been a favorite guest of The Business, he will continue to delight as a regular member.

Come join us! Sean “Silver” Keane, Bucky “Bismuth” Sinister, Alex “Mercury” Koll, Caitlin “Palladium” Gill and “PLATINUM” Nato Green.
We sell out! Get there early.

BYOBeryllium.

(JK BYOBURRRRRRITO!!!!)

Monday, 7 January 2013

When B-school girls tell me stories about getting drunk with my fiancé
Me on the outside:

Me on the inside:

Thanks to the Partners at Booth for this submission!
When my husband walks into his 3rd class with his favorite professor, he's like:

 and the professor is just like:

Sunday, 6 January 2013

When I see non B-School couples who actually spend time together, I'm like:

Saturday, 5 January 2013

When I met a partner who took a job at a daycare while her boyfriend is in business school:

Friday, 4 January 2013

When I first started trying to tell people about this blog, I was like:

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

When my friend - who is going to business school next year with her husband - reads my blog, she's like:

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

The Business January 2nd 2013, The “2013- the Exciting Sequel to 2012 Starring John Cusack” Edition

Roland Emmerich guest directs this very exciting edition of The Business, in which we will face off with Godzilla in a terrible storm that happened cause we flooded the atmosphere with carbons while we were fighting aliens for our Independence.

We have guest stars to help us! (and they are the good kind that will survive til the end of the movie!


… OR WILL THEY?!?!)

Jules Posner!

Jules Posner is a stand up comedian and San Francisco native. He has been described as a comedian who, “puts the ‘b’ in subtle”. Jules performs all over the country and is a regular at the SF Punchline. Jules Posner has been featured on Jokes.com, Hulu, and SF Sketchfest 2011-2012.

Tony Camin!

Tony has appeared on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Real Time with Bill Maher, and lots of others that have been cancelled. He's has performed at The Just For Laughs festival in Montreal as well as The HBO US Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, as well as the Melbourne Comedy festival in Australia. Tony has written for programs on NBC, VH1, and Comedy Central. In addition to being co-creator/ performer of "The Marijuana-Logues", he can also be seen as a correspondent for "The Media Project", on IFC.

This Big Big show is just $5. You can even bring a friend for free!!!!!!!$!!! with one of our two-for-one coupons.
http://thebusinesscomedy.blogspot.com/

We sell out, get there early for a seat!

BYONYBurrito
Happy New Year!!! 

We hope that 2013 brings with it good things like closed lists, 
good grades (even if they are made up and the points don't matter), and a general decrease in Business School-related stress.
 Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming


When my husband starts to realize that next semester starts in like a week, he's like: